While we normally review games for all of our brave G.I.s both at home and overseas, I thought that today we should take some time to do a review of good old Uncle Sam.
Whose story could be more awesome than Uncle Sam’s? Born in 1812 to help defend defenseless America from the marauding Canadians, he represents all we know and love about America.
Could Uncle Sam look any better? No. How dare you even ask that question! Perfect in every way, Uncle Sam has always been a paragon of good looks and envied by everyone in the world community. If you don’t get lost staring into that beard as white as his soul, then there’s no help for you anyways.
Like the voice of angels. Uncle Sam’s mellifluous voice can be partially summed up by describing it as a mixture of the voices of Chuck Norris, Barry White, Ted Williams, and Jesus.
You can’t control Uncle Sam, but he can control you whenever he darn well pleases.
Uncle Sam doesn’t play games. One time he almost tried to tell a joke and so many people died that no one ever laughed again. But he does have the world’s high score in Tetris.
If you could think of a man better than Uncle Sam, then you’d be dead. Dead from the fact that your brain will implode with the level of impossibility it has to handle while trying to think up someone better. Uncle Sam knows better than everyone else and there would obviously be peace and harmony in the world if everyone would just shut up and do what he says.
See the final score we give Uncle Sam after the jump!